What now?

I had stepped away from the blog for a while because it has been a very hard time for me. I do not compare my hurt though to those that may never find homes due to events that have transpired. I admit that I still have a very hard time thinking about or being faced with anything "Russian". I simply have to pray when these emotions well up inside of me; and know that there are very kind people throughout the world as well as evil. I have to concentrate on those that are kind.

I have no idea what lies ahead for our family. I have to believe that the purpose of our journey was not simply to have bitterness; toward the Russian government, the adoption agency that was so unprofessional and heartless, or the agency that we found Ivan through and their hurtful actions. I have seen such love from others and have to remind myself that that is what God wants me to focus on. I must find a peace and concentrate on what God has in store for us.

For now, we have begun helping another family that is adopting from Guatemala and that has allowed for healing. We are also only 10 weeks away from welcoming our son, Joshua, into the family. This mama is feeling her age and is anxiously awaiting his arrival.

I have had a stomach virus and then bronchitis since December 26th. I am finally beginning to feel better and pray it is indeed going away.

At the moment, I am on an extremely rare business trip and am missing my babies and husband. Two weeks of "me" time is odd for a hands-on, home-schooling, 24/7 mother and wife. Praying I will be with them within the next week or so. I have to brag on my family though. My husband is doing a fabulous job doing everything on his own, and my two oldest boys are such big helpers to papa, and love their baby brother so much. A big thank you to my wonderful friend for helping watch the boys while my husband goes to his own classes. (1.5 semesters and he has his degree. I am so proud!)

My God is big. He is guiding us. We will continue to live our lives for Him.